Manifesting Magical Musical Weekends

Haiiiiiieeeee!

My show at Troddenvale last weekend was kismet.  ( This selfie was taken in the middle of my set break.

Being as it’s my favorite cidery, i wanted to manifest a show there. I reached out to them to book a show and heard crickets. I kinda gave up, let go, moved on. (An essential ingredient to manifesting btw).

Then through a post on instagram I reached out to a farm to table concert series and it turns out it’s hosted there!

I decided to make a weekend of it with loved ones.

My mom joined us and danced with kiddos who spontaneously started grooving to my fairy beats. Then their moms joined us. It was a really special show where I felt we were all having a lil inter-generational dance party, myself included as I danced more freely than usual.

And Matty ran sound to make sure it sounded *chefs kiss*.

I’ve been calling in a team/label that feels like caring family, and so it felt dreamy to have my family step it up and help so much. (Not to mention I’m being courted by an extremely supportive label atm!)

Then where we stayed that night ended up being an unexpected manifestation.

I was wanting to explore Hidden Valley as a potential place to camp next time we visit. 

It turns out our Airbnb was just down the lane from there, like on the same road. And we got a little lost in the forest looking for the river and enjoyed a couple of walks there in an extremely ferny fae glen, with the mossiest mushroomiest we’d ever seen. And later we enjoyed a meadow walk with perhaps centuries-old wildflowers that loomed over us like small flexible sky scrapers.

The net effect of this magical weekend was I felt a new level of trust kick in.

Theoretically I believe good things are orbiting me, but now I have a sense that the Universe/God/Source really does care about me. It's like we're born into the matrix and there are certain rules to the game, but in general it’s mostly me holding myself back from the flow of abundance through limiting beliefs and unprocessed emotions.

But when I can get into my heart and keep growing into a more present and compassionate and courageous person, step by baby step, there is a Universal Force that wants to line me up with the things I’d love to experience. 

 I believe I came here for a Purpose, and my quirky lil' desires are arrows pointing what paths to explore. When I align with that force that created me and the world, I have personally witnessed gob-smacking things are possible.

Someone asked me the other day what I have gotten from studying manifesting for so many years, especially applying it to my music desires.

There have been little and big goals achieved over time that I'm proud of, but nothing Hollywood-level. Lols that's probably a limiting belief!

But as you may know, it's the inner journey that can be the most rewarding. I think it’s taken all this time, but I’m proud to say I’m finally coming to love myself. Like legit finding an adoring feeling for Me.

I can see that I am a unique spirit, grown from an endearing child, a miracle of life, full of gifts and quirks and wishes…

Even if it’s the only thing I ever manifest from all my inner and outer work, loving myself might be the best reward ever. Not just saying it, but FEELing it. I'm a keeper. A gem. A special Someone.

If you can be your own safe, loving home base, there isn’t much more you need to get through the ups and downs of life, right?

I'm now offering free intro session for my (Music) Manifestation Mentorship. Hmu if you want to chat about music and manifestation as much as I do! And I'll help using my 37 years of experience in the biz and beyond. Including recording services.

And I want to share with my patrons the technique I used to get to this next level of synchronicities. As though the universe was my booking and travel agent!

Head here for the new way I’m going deeper and further on my path.

If you’re looking to manifest your own magical musical weekend, please join me at Floyd Yoga Jam. The vibes are unrivaled, the nature is pure and refreshing, and the music doesn’t disappoint.

I play 2:30-3:15pm Saturday on the Chill Stage. Would make my year to see you Here!

Surrounded by sighing trees, burbling brooks, infinite yoga and massage buffet, the relaxation we'll experience will be unrivaled.

Come fall in love with life again with me!

Click the flyer to go to their site and get your tickets.

Also you can presave my upcoming single Granite Bones here, out Sept. 15th, by clicking on this photo:

The pre-saves help it get more traction for discoverability on release day, but no worries if Spotify isn’t your thang.

Ok ta ta for now, bisous and blessings!
-Annabeth

Using Mindful Music to Generate Courage

Yesterday I took a break from rehearsing to sit in the sun and snack with my partner.

He had just consumed a dismaying piece of journalism exposing more ways China might be meddling with the US. (He is a data scientist with a passion for politics and current events, and I really appreciate a front row seat to his pursuit of the Truth!)

Usually this news would have alarmed me and sent my stress hormones into motion, which I think is a healthy response to new awareness of threats...

However, because of the music I'd been bathing in and breathing with while rehearsing for my Mindful Music set, I felt a different emotion. It was Love. 

I was like the sun, so impervious untouchable by the dark shadow being presented. And that much more powerful.

I recently realized I no longer want to act from or ruminate on fear. Even the best intention, if vibrating with this emotion, usually comes across all wrong and just spreads more fear and chaos. 

I may have stumbled on the ages-old fight between Good and Evil, Dark and Light, God and Devil, simply playing out within me like it can in every Human. 

After my lightbulb moment yesterday, I understand that we can stand up against tyranny, stand up for our rights, even fight enemies, all from a place of Love. 

You can feel the difference:

Once is a calm, protective, strong, almost parental force.

The other is grasping and anxious and sniveling and rude. 

Coeur in French means Heart. If we can have the Cour-age to source our words and actions from love, I really do believe we're more powerful than any well-organized nefarious forces acting for greed and world domination (like they do).

Doing simple moves, stretches, and breathing exercises in the midst of my music had the potent effect of centering me right in the center of my heart. I read once that on some extra dimensional level, in the center of each heart, is the center of the Universe. We can sense it in meditative states. 

It was hippy and woo, but I thought it a beautiful and resonant idea, so kept it as a belief - another baubel on the string of pearls that weaves my world view.

You’re welcome to come move, breathe, and OM with me, or just relax and bask in the frequencies this evening at 7-8ish pm via my livestream, or IRL Saturday at 5:30-6:30pm at Staunton Jams in the SolArts Center.

www.ursalive.com/anmaramusic

www.stauntonjams.com

Oh and speaking of mindful movement, want to AUDITION for the DANCE TROOP I’m collaborating with for a song at Fae Fest??? Check out this post for details or reach out to Cumulus Dance in Charlottesvile, VA.

Life is but a dream.

xoAnnabeth NicAnmara

Earth Day Music Video Premiere

My dove,

I know how depressing it can get looking out on humanity and our planet, watching the relentless degradation and toxification of the biosphere by huge corporations and wars and the careless masses... 

I have been interested in caring for the environment from a young age, via captain planet and ferngully and over-dubbing animals on the discovery channel. :) I could really relate to them, and to this day enjoy impersonating my cat, haha.

But it was when I was in college in a class called "Women's Wisdom and Nature" with my mentor Liz Faller, that everything clicked.

In this class where we connected to the seasons, the elements, the celestial bodies, our fellow humans, all while out in wild nature... 

It was like that first lightening bolt that is suspected to have created life on a rock by the ocean somewhere. 

I FELT the connection in my BODY: Gaia AS my body. 

This eureka moment started a downpour of creativity - songs started flowing easily and rapidly through me. 

I guess putting this simple concept - that we are One with Nature - into a song to move our bodies to is apt : perhaps it is a connection that can only be made and understood in a sense-engaging, lung-pumping, heart-beating way.

The connection we need is already within us, in our bones and blood, waiting to be re-activated when we step into a caring and curious relationship with the natural world.

I believe we need all sectors on deck to remediate our deadly patterns, and the arts can work on a subliminal, profound level.

The music video I'm releasing for the song today is designed to enhance and strengthen the connective tissues between ourselves and Gaia. The term Gaia sounds so new-agey, but is actually a scientific term I studied at Prescott College (a college known for its radical environmentalists in the hippy era). Gaia is a name for the self-regulating, almost organism-like behavior of our entire biosphere.

Through experiences with creating and performing this song, I've come to sense the ingelligent Life Force that WANTS to help humanity heal as she heals. 

I hope you'll let this song and videography wash over you and ultimately recruit you as the ones who were foretold - the army of Rainbow Warriors rising up to protect Life Herself.

While in the past I've taken months and even years to finish mixing a song (oof), this time I wanted to try a deadline and be done by Earth Day. The song is getting mastered as I type this (!!), and I'm aiming for a 3pm ET YouTube premiere if all goes well. How to get the premiere link:

• Sign up for notifications on my youtube channel by clicking the bell next to the subscribe button and choosing "ALL."

• Stay tuned to my instagram and facebook. 

• Subscribe to my patreon page for free or at any tier and I'll update this post with an email to your inbox once I know the link.

See you in the chats!

xoAnnabeth NicAnmara

Am I a Bohemian??

Photo by Pura Photo / Alisa Foytik

I remember writing my very first song on guitar at the tender age of 13. I was so moved by the film "Moulin Rouge" that I came home immediately and wrote a song that expressed the feeling it stirred in me.

Over the years I've referenced a line they sing in the movie, where they outline the 4 core values of Bohemian culture: Freedom, Beauty, Truth, and Love.

As the digital age and social algorithms have made democracy a bit wobbly, I've started to see the inter-connectivity of these seemingly disparate principles. 

How can there be great art (beauty), if we wind up in a society where's it's not entirely safe to speak the truth? How can there be great love between people, if one group is restricting the freedoms of others because of fear and not science?

A cornerstone of these principles has revealed itself to be a free press. I think we can all agree that independent journalism is the gold standard. I URGE you to reflect on who is funding your news sources- for if advertisers are involved, they become the "boss" of the newsroom, and pull funding if the news shows them in a poor light. If like NPR, it's the government, consider their bias toward not reporting on things that are not convenient for the current administration. It can become lies of omission.

I've had the surreal experience, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, where a topic comes up in conversation and it's as though myself and the other person have completely different world views and sets of facts. It makes it extremely hard to find common ground, and these conversations keep going sideways. In the past I don't remember experiencing such a phenomenon, which makes me optimistic we can resolve it quickly and get back on track to a healthy public discourse.

That's why I'm collecting and disseminating a list of free press outlets, funded by citizens and not cajoled by corporations or political parties. Please hit reply and let me know if you know of any other sources of free press. So far my list includes:

• Breaking Points - patron-funded traditional-style newsroom where one anchor is on the left and one is on the right, and they discuss current events and bias. They're on YouTube and have a podcast on Spotify.

• Matt Taibbi - left legacy media because of restrictions and is now funded by subscribers on substack. He just won an award for journalism.

• The Free Press - also on substack with a similar story of leaving corporate to do independent journalism.

If there is a topic or person you've simply "heard is bad," I encourage you to seek out the horse's mouth via podcasts to double check they're not being smeared by an agenda. It’s easy to listen to podcasts for free on Spotify without a subscription.

Personally I've noticed google and youtube searches simply aren't showing some people I follow anymore. These are people I respect whose well researched opinions spell disaster for corruption. This is why I use Duck Duck Go for searching instead of Google, although I heard they were bought by a big corporation so we’ll see...

I see email as one of the last places on the internet where we aren't being censored and down-regulated by the big tech companies and government. It's been my purpose in growing my email list as creating a way to connect beyond the reach of the eye of Big Brother (Sauron?) and the meddling of (social media) corporations. Unknowingly, my newsletter subscribers are part of a subversive and pro-democracy movement just by reading this. Head to my homepage to sign up and opt out of the inhuman(e) algorithms!

I do not want to live and make art in a society where I feel uncomfortable sharing and discussing ideas that could benefit my country. So I'll use my platform to do what I can to make sure we chart a course away from this eventuality - and I hope you'll join me by seeking out, consuming, and valuing the best sources of information. A new form of self-care as old as democracy itself.

And PLEASE let me know what fairly unbiased, people-powered news outlets you consume.

Stay centered,

-Annabeth NicAnmara

My Perspective as a Female Music Artist

Photo by Geoff L Johnson

Hello dreamers that do,

In my last blog I started to share about my experience and perspective as a female music artist. 

My life is distinctly womanly. I've always had other jobs since my college days, which eventually became part time jobs as I started teaching music and performing at paying venues.

As time went on and I endured the pinch of economics at a clothing consignment shop, and via the ups and downs of student enrollment, I became increasingly stressed out trying to juggle my music on top of day-job stress.

Many of my female friends would get glassy-eyed and talk about finding a sugar-daddy. And all of them but me wanted children. This mystified me because nothing in our schooling or capitalist culture would have led them to this conclusion. It was something instinctual. Go figure I was the one who found domestic bliss first, despite lacking this instinct. But eventually all of them were either pregnant, unemployed with babies, or caretaking other family members, including elderly parents and child relatives. Wow, I did not see that coming!

How did I find domestic employment? Well, my boyfriend was a single father and trying to juggle parenting as well as a high-powered corporate job. Though innately tidy and not extremely masculine, domestic tasks fell by the wayside as he climbed the corporate ladder and spent quality time with "his beanlet." :)

I was raised to think of myself as almost identical to men aside from some basic equipment. Now I see us as varying degrees of vendiagrams, where there is much overlap, but often differences in our affinities and priorities. As time went on it just made sense for me to let go of my day job and play a supportive, nurturing roll at home. It didn’t come to me easily, but it still came to me naturally.

And my musical aspirations fit into this lifestyle like a glove. I look around and see many other women unofficially living this lifestyle, of side-hustling hard while simultaneously being the CEO of their family and home. But none of them are being overt about it. I think bc it makes us look weak and like we’re not serious businesses? Well, I challenge that paradigm. I think it’s beautiful, highly valuable, and natural for us to have a creative outlet that can also bring in varying amounts of income, to contribute to society whilst contributing to our families. We can do it all, but maybe not give our all to it all, yeah?

So yeah. Today I'm fully coming out to you all as a very effeminate musician, one who spends roughly half her productivity on grocery shopping, food-planning, cooking, cleaning, gardening, co-parenting, cat-parenting, etc.

And even within the music business, I am drawn to the side that nurtures community, that focuses on the verbal side as well as colors and textures and design...

I could be like Katy Perry and give music my all. (She barely knows how to boil water! Poor thing, she really has no fall-back plan, ha.) But because of my adjacent passions for holistic health and ecology, I opt for a well-rounded, feminine approach to my career. I'm not interested in sacrificing my physical and mental well-being to chase fame, bc I know what kind of dead end that is for me. Literally, I start to have dark thinking if I don’t eat, sleep, and connect well.

One thing I've found is that by sharing my "secrets" with you, it can help me let go and move beyond their constraint. I integrate this part of me by releasing the shame around it, and then it can add to my set of super-powers and skills.

For example, after my instagram post about not caring if I "make it" as a musician, I looked at my business bank account and realized I had just about made a living from music last month! Well, an impoverished living, but wow! Go me. Go us. Heck.

So yet again, I hope you'll consider bravely sharing the contents of your heart and soul with those who offer a safe ear. I believe it is what will set us free in this time of polarized silences. 

None of us can know the whole truth, so in order to be a functioning democracy, we must share our perspectives, and listen without prejudice and judgment. That way our collective mind can be made whole. For we are cells in the body of humanity, the furthest step so far of Gaia's evolutionary journey.

It's been a bouncy ride lately, no? Well, I'm about to head off to the musical land of Anmara to reset my spirits with harmonies and mellifluous melodies. I hope you'll join me!

Simply head here www.bit.ly/annabethYT at roughly 12:30-1:30pm ET Fridays, or head to the “live” heading for all the replays.

xoAnnabeth NicANMARA

My Perspective on being a Female Creative

Photos by Geoff L. Johnson

Growing up, I was told I could be anything I want. I got the impression that there was little difference between myself and the boys sitting next to me in class beyond basic equipment. I went on to treat men and women equally. 

I believe this attitude is what got me date raped in my 20's and possibly molested as an infant.

1 in 3 women is molested in their lifetime.

I don't see this as a tragedy. I see this as biology. To ignore it is to walk blindly in life. Now that I know this stat, I simply don't believe men and un-vetted adults of any kind should be left alone with children.

If you look to the animal world, you see it everywhere. It's an effective reproductive model, with Gaia's stamp of approval on it as the favored choice. 

I'll never forget the year I spent hours walking meditative circles around a pond, gazing absent-mindedly at the ducks. During mating season, I proceeded to witness atrocities. Non-stop accosting of females, gang rapes, and even drownings through non-stop passions.

 I googled duck sex lives and jubilated to learn the female ducks had evolved labyrinthine equipment to thwart the inflatable noodles of the males. :D  Look it up if you want to learn more about these other-worldly "extra-terrestrials" who spend so much time above terra, the earth.

I've also learned much from watching the latest documentary on chimps, as well as interning with a flock of chickens at Radical Roots Farm.

I think humans err steeply when they deny their basic nature, throw these aspects into their egoic shadow, and then proceed to live out their repressions in twisted and dark ways.

I describe my transition from childhood to adult mindset in regards to sex as having learned an equation, but I got the variable wrong. I thought I was a y, but I was an x. I thought as a musician who doesn't want kids, I could have a similar trajectory as a male.

Then I fell in love with a cross-dressing man. I always appreciated the show of femininity in a man, especially in American men who tend to be so macho (ew!). He went on a healing journey with therapy only to realize he was dis-integrated, having renounced his masculine side because he didn't have good male role models. He eventually realized he could be an example himself, of a sensitive, fashionable male of his species.

As a single dad, he had a demanding full-time job doing math in corporate and didn't have time or focus for cooking, etc. I was super-stressed by keeping a standard job and trying to manage my chronic health conditions, so I opted to stay home.

Not having to go out to hunt and bring home the bacon was very soothing to my system. And being able to focus on feeding our fambly healing, nutrient-dense food was like a rising tide that raised us all back to strength, energy, and calm. 

I was naturally drawn to keeping our home a tidy, zen nest brought us all peace. I nursed baby plants into ever-widening pots. I dreamed of a decadent native edible garden, and adopted an ongoing collection of vintage varietals whose tendrils I tenderly cared for. I studied ways to help support our family unit, including Language of Listening. The apex of this trajectory was when an extremely soft and relatively sweet kitten wandered into our lives and laps and proceeded to trigger an oxytocin bond in me.

Looking back I think this was a natural phase of life. And it fit perfectly with my desires to write and record music, and livestream from home.

As in adolescence I wanted to be male, and in my 20's I felt somewhat neuter, in my 30's I stepped fully into womanhood, and channeled early motherhood despite (thankfully) being barren.

I looked around recently and saw all 3 of my best friends either having babies or nursing elderly parents. None of us were employed in a full-time or even part-time capacity. All of us were heavily involved in caretaking. By choice. By calling. Because society needed us to. I realized women can have it all, but not all at the same time.  

Now I feel that early mothering chapter is melding into the next, where I'm less concerned with caretaking. My plants have either sunk or swum at this point and can do fine with just a little care. Thanks to working with a health coach, I've homed in on a cooking and dietary routine that works for us and no longer research and obsess. I'm able to pour more time and grit into my creative work, and it's giving me higher returns in turn.

I want to write more, but I’m running out of time. I hope to keep this thread going in next week’s blog. Stay tuned! Now I’m off to do AnnabeeTV, my weekly livestream on YouTube. Maybe see you there!

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As always I want to be a conversation starter, and for you to feel seen, so please let me know your thoughts so I’m not trapped in my own echo chamber. We’re in this together.

xoAnnabeth

Why I Believe in a Beautiful Journey, Not Just a Beautiful Dream

Photo by Karolina McLean

This week I overheard someone talking about my set at Floyd Yoga Jam and they responded by saying, "That's hopeful." Though I know they meant nothing but well, it negated my fierce pride in that performance.

Not just the fact that it defies the odds that I even exist, or am still alive despite depression and stupid decisions. (Yeeaahhhh I'm one of those people who almost fell in the Grand Canyon. Natural selection anyone?) 

Not just the fact that I'm a woman in the free world who can bare her skin and soul to share her vulnerable, occasionally anti-fascist songs. (Fascism = the marriage of corporations and government. Sound familiar?) 

Not just the fact that I studied and experimented countless hours, honing my craft, so that I can perform a full sound as a solo artist, and book a stage meant for a band.

But the fact that I'm forging my own path, in balance with my body and values, inhabiting a unique niche that only I could carve. When each show makes me richer on all levels- socially, spiritually, ethically, and financially - I know I'm winning.

This concept definitely dovetails with last week's concept of "making music = making it." 

I think playing music with the focus being someday in the future can be excruciating.  Doomed to a life of always comparing themselves to the .00001% of musicians who have become household names around the world and never feeling up to snuff.

Me, I believe in putting beauty first. 

I believe a beautiful journey leads somewhere beautiful. 

That's why I'm intentionally crafting my journey, embracing unusual venues and opportunities, such as rooftop yoga, creekside dance parties, radical homespun puppetry, singing with dancers on a barge in a resonant quarry (stay tuned for 2024!)... Situations that resonate with my values and brand, that will help us all create high-saturation souvenirs (in french that word means memories) we can treasure for all our lives.

I believe we each have a unique path that only we can sense, using the fine tuned instruments of our hearts, guts, and inspired minds. I didn't used to be able to feel my intuition, but as I go along my healing journey, it's been coming fantastically online, lighting me up like a glow worm in the dusk.

I believe in the power of our collective courageous non-conformity, where we boldly stay true to ourselves despite the pressures all around.

What if life is but a dream?

A dream that lives inside us like a trapped luna moth, aching to unfurl its strange soft wings and bring our breath-taking beauty to light up the moonnight.

Music helps me remember there is more than is seen.

If you want to partake of my musical ambrosias, you can catch my weekly Friday livestream at 12:30pmET at bit.ly/annabethYT and check out my upcoming Virginia gigs at Bandsintown.

I've noticed the more amazing, attentive people in the audience, the more awesome the shared vibrations are. You all are my real amplifiers! We don't have to understand it to feel it.

xo Annabeth Nc ANMARA

“…and because we simply cheated ourselves the whole way down the line. 
We saw our life by analogy as a journey, a pilgrimage which had a serious purpose at the end and the thing was to get to that end… success or whatever it is.
Or maybe heaven after you're dead.

But we missed the point the whole way along

It was a musical thing.
And we were supposed to sing and dance
while the music was being played.”
-Alan Watts 

Why I'm Not Interested in "Making It" as a Musician

This post on my instagram seems to have struck a chord. (Pun intended.)

The fact is, if you’re making music, you’re making it! Think of all the people in the world who WISH they could make art or use their creativity. Maybe they’re too busy surviving, or too depressed, or are blocked… Whatever the cause, it’s a privilege to create. I think of us as blooms on the brambles of civilization.

I think this message goes for all sorts of creative pursuits. I want to articulate the paradigm shift that needs to happen in all sectors, especially the music business, from a model that scrapes at earth's resources to try to milk dollars and fame out of it, and replace it with one that serves the creator, the Creator, GAIA's complex systems, the concentric rings of community... 

This is part of the message behind my new single Children's Children as well.

I'm done feeling bad for not "making it big." This is some kind of 90's standard we need to abandon. 

In fact technology is making it the most exciting and accessible time to make and share music in all of human history. 

And turns out many of the best creatives in history have had rote part time jobs, so no one should feel bad for not making a living from the arts. That form of suffering ends here and now, with your eyeballs on these words.

I'd rather have a real and mutually beneficial relationship with you my listeners, and create a small army of good vibes to hopefully make the world a better place.

I still dream of making a living from my music, which I am slowly edging ever-closer to. To me this vision represents a kind of financial freedom that is also creative freedom. But if you know my story, you know I don't want to go the traditional route. I want to do it my way. It’s a matter of life and death, in a way.

That's my definition of success- using modern tools to mindfully craft a life that supports me on all levels, and not at the expense of the web of life that's in fact already doing so. 

I'll settle for nothing less, and I invite you to work slowly but surely toward the same.

xoAnnabeth NcAnmara